Come sit at my Table,Let’s Talk.

Hello, permit me to be brutally honest in this post. I’m going to be talking about a few things people do which are definitely far from right, don’t take it to heart or personally......but wait, take it however you want to. “It is what it is”, i'm also throwing shades at my self here so no hard feelings.

   I’d like to start by asking, how are you? I really mean it, give me your honest answer, how are you? I hope you’re fine. I had to ask that because it’s important to  ask that and it’s more important to get an honest answer. If you’re really fine, everything is good, i’m genuinely happy for you! Azaaar!! 

Hold on a bit, let’s critically analyze some behavioral mishaps.

One thing I don’t like is when people transfer their anger to someone completely innocent from the matter, it irks me , i mean let’s analyze it, someone did something you didn’t like or said something or didn’t do something you wanted the person to do or whatever and yes, you get angry, which is fine. Everyone gets angry, so no hard feelings here. It becomes an issue when you move on to shout at the closest person next to you who has nothing to do with how you feel. If you really want to express your anger, be matured enough to take it out on the right person. Nothing good comes out from taking out your anger on the wrong person. Let me give an example, one day one of my roommates came to the room, it was the season of exams and my other roommates were reading, this young lady  walked into the room, opened the door violently and slammed it back. This is her probably seeking attention so others can notice her change of emotion. I know of this because it has happened before. As if this wasn't enough, she repeated this action again and again until one of my roommates who had been trying to read got fed up and called her out. “If someone pissed you off, go talk to that person and stop disturbing us” she said.  Angrilina  (fondly called 😂😂😂), just looked at her and walked out of the room again slamming the door but this time, the handle broke and of course, she had to bear the cost alone.I really think it’s unfair to transfer our anger to others but then again, I can understand, maybe your anger over rides your sense of thought and it's difficult not to. I'm not trying to judge anyone in this category, I've probably been a victim of this.

Keyword 'probably' since no one is perfect.

          Let’s move on to the next category of people. Maintaining a steady friendship with these people is almost impossible, It stops at the level of being acquaintances. These are people with inconsistencies in their behavior towards you. Today they'll see you and laugh with you, the next day, they'll act like you're a stranger who does not fit into their category.

       I've learnt and still learning that sometimes people’s attitude towards you isn’t as a result of what you did or didn’t do, it isn’t even about you at all, it's about them.Some people are going through mental struggles, they can just lash out at anyone. So for someone like me who holds boundaries and respect  in relationships at high esteem, i just can’t maintain a long term friendship with these ones. It’s not me that would play  tom and jerry kind of love 😂, plus my friends know this, I really don’t know how to fake it with people, if I don’t like something you did, i'd say it, i'd tell the person to their face or if in rare cases I’m unable to tell the person, then the person would know by my actions. I’m really not the person to fake a smile or the person who smiles and hugs people who I know I’m displeased with by a certain action they did to me.I’m a Christian, forgiveness is important and I forgive easily because Christ has forgiven me for a whole lot of sins. Forgiveness is not a problem for me but when it gets to a point where I explain to you about your discrepancies and you do it again and again, it just shows you don’t rate me, whether or not it was intended. I’ll just take several steps back and love the person from Afar,—love is my primary language as a Christian. We are commanded to love everyone which includes people under this category .

            So now I want all the “Overthinkers to come forward,the rest of you...just hold on for a bit” I’m leading the gang here so you can come at me. I recently found out that I overthink things a lot in some certain relationships with my people. Overthinking can actually be a big problem and I’m learning that some things are not the way it seems and I’m also learning to put a good enough amount of trust in people. I read somewhere that overthinking twist things around, makes you worry and makes everything seems worse than it actually is.Which is also very true. Let me make a confession to you here,so someone did something a while back to me and honestly I’ve forgiven the person and let go but almost everyday let’s say I see the persons name on my contact list or someone mentions that persons name , I immediately begin to think or wished I had backed out of that situation from the very beginning. See even if what that person did was wrong and offended me, I’m the only one who has control over my emotions ,actions and reactions to things and imma have to leave that of other people alone,even if what that person did hurt me. How I react to things is solely up to me and not based on what that person did to me. I just kept on overthinking  and thinking about the situation and sometimes silently wished karma upon that person.  I needed to do better,heal from that ,I’m currently doing better and healing ,I have not even thought about the person or situation in a while but honestly overthinking ruins things and sometimes makes you hurt the ones you love in the process(this is another story for another day). N.B I’m not an overthinker haq haq ,who I am is a born again filled with the Holy Spirit believer who has power and control of her mind so I bask in this ,this is your reality if you’re in Christ jesus.

      I’m a sucker for love, I love love,I’m an hopeless romantic . I can bet that there’s no instagram /YouTube Christian couple I don’t know about 😂. Sigh,love is beautiful . You’re probably thinking about what I want to say now or what do i know in this couple or love relationship business 😭but not too long ago I got to learn about love languages. And I honestly feel it’s important  because it just is. It’s just important to always do what your partner will love and enjoy and be grateful for not what you will enjoy or like or feel would be much valuable. For example,in the Old Testament there were certain times where some people felt that sacrifices were very pleasing to God or he delighted in the sacrifices and cared so much about their rituals when God just wanted their heart and minds ,it was even stated that obedience is better than sacrifice. Like there they were carrying out animal sacrifices and doing a bunch of irrelevant things and thinking yeah God is pleased now,And saying to themselves i did excellently and God pointed out he preferred obedience to this things . Just Imagine.thats sorta how it is like when you don’t understand your partners love language,yes you Feel like you’re doing things right and you’re like the almost perfect partner while your partner isn’t moved at all by what you’re doing because that’s not the persons love language. See understand your partner,your partners love language and just do those things.honestly,i feel loving your partner the way they want to be loved would just make the relationship smoother ,happier and builds more trust and confidence with each other. 

     

     You may be wondering,what’s the point of this post,well I personally take self development seriously,its important to me ,I strive to reflect on every day to see what I can work on so that i can become a better and healthier version of myself with the help of the Holy Spirit of course and you should too.They say Acceptance is one step in  solving a behavioral problem. So accept whatever issue it is and deal with it.

If you read it up to this point,then you’re a totally cool and awesome person! Thank you!Merci!

Till my Next blog post,Remain blessed,drink water,Mind your business and Kill ‘em with kindness. Ciao